Warrior weekly: Weathering the windstorm
Staying steady whilst feeling out of sorts, not sleeping well and getting ready for winter week.
Monday – regular pedicure client got the week off to a good start.
Patch test on a new client, couldn’t stop talking. There’s a reason we have connected. Went to bed in the aft, feeling very out of sorts. Couldn’t put my finger on it and wanted to be doing, doing and more doing. Ended up listing all the things I’d already done and realised I’d already DONE enough. So thankful to Kirsty Gallagher for reminding us to go slowly at the start of this week following eclipse season, the dark moon and the light moon. #trying but finding a little resistance to it. How were your energy levels at the beginning of the week this week? How did it leave you feeling?
Tuesday – awake HOURS in the night. Ended up YouTubing a Goddess Channeller who’s exquisite voice and channelling took me on a journey connecting me more deeply to my purpose in my dreams. I couldn’t remember any of it when I woke up, only that as it was being shared with me I already knew I was on it. Felt like I’d been taken on some wild ride and I’m sure my morning hair looked like I had too!
Had a go at writing some morning pages. 3x A4 sheets of writing, writing, writing. Writing just for the sake of it. Writing to clear my head. Writing to understand what’s on my mind, how I’m feeling, what my thoughts are. Have you ever tried it? It’s recommended as a daily practice though it can come with a lot of resistance. Leading to huge shifts and transformation in your life with consistent practice. I give it a go a few times last year (alongside the daily emotional regulation work I did everyday). I couldn’t believe the difference between what I wrote today and what I imagine last years will be like. The way I’m speaking to myself, the thoughts I’m experiencing, how I’m feeling, the improvement to my physical, mental and emotional health. It’s like night and day.
9am writing class – sat down to write my book, ended up writing a tribute to my friend Nick. I’m speaking at his funeral next Tuesday. I feel like I excelled myself with my words and our treasured memories, his true character and paint the picture of his full humanness. Isn’t it funny how we only really sit with the true strength, meaning and character of a person once they’ve died? I feel like we find out so much more about a person once they’re no longer with us. Just me? Maybe I’ll write a tribute to my other long-standing friends now, before I miss out on the chance to share with them how treasured, valued, loved and cared for they really are. Do you think we realise how valued, loved and cared for by others we really are?
Regular bodywork sesh. This one felt other worldly as they sometimes do. We’ve seen some big shifts and so much has come up in previous sessions. This client is over a year in to this part of her journey. Her confidence has grown. Healing is consistently happening. As it is for many of us, there’s some huge life-altering events on a personal level. The kind that rip the rug from beneath you. Yet a stepping out and a rising amidst it all. “I feel like a big weight has been lifted” she shared at the end.
Usual Milo walk in nature, a lot of grounding, cleansing and clearing needed after this morning’s session all in time for a 2nd bodywork session at teatime.
Wednesday – up at 5am with R. We attempted some yoga poses but a lot of agitation there so we did some 4 part journaling instead to get to the root of what was really going on - opening up a lot of conversation, more feelings and a much bigger picture. I’ve been having a biiiig conversation with a fellow chronic illness warrior this week and last re yoga. Around our perception of it, what we have made of it here in the western world and how it feels as though it has been presented as a “cure” in the chronic illness community, facing a lot of resistance and barriers. I’ve come to find that yoga means many different things to different people. I had much resistance to it myself in the beginning (why pay someone £10 to sit on a mat and breath when you can do that at home?). In my yoga teacher training, I learnt that the true meaning and essence of yoga is connection. Connection to oneself, connection to others, connection to nature, connection to the world around us. I’ve not personally felt like yoga has ever been branded to me as a cure all. But I have found it to lead on to greatly improved health and that was my goal.
What does yoga mean to you? Friend or foe? Is it part of your chronic support system?
My own yoga session online at 10am. Longer space held to chat this morning which I must’ve needed. I always feel better afterwards no matter how horrific I feel when I rock up. And trust me, I have arrived in many a horrific state – mid/post attack (frequently). During relapse, feeling anxious, depressed, worried. Many a time it felt like something greater than me would carry me there (when in person and before the pandemic - during which time I moved to another part of the country so we continued it online). It has been my bedrock, my anchor, my sole support at times. The key that unlocked the life that I live now.
Head not so good all aft and evening. Mild pain. I’m in autumn week, due on my period this weekend (my most challenged week health-wise).
Thursday – awake hours again in the torrential downpour and high level winds.
9am writing class – writing section “14 weeks pain free” which went off in an entirely different direction than I first thought. To the writers amongst us, do you ever experience that?
New bodywork and brows client. I knew we’d hit it off after the other day. So much to talk about on a deep and personal level. I’m recognising a need for more of this in our lives. Deep healing is happening right there and then in these conversations, on both sides. Do you feel it too?
“I’ve not felt this relaxed in a long time”
“You’re so easy to talk to”
“I feel like a new woman”.
It has been a super skill of mine to ensure a client feels super safe and deeply relaxed. This is the space in which healing happens.
Headers and footers workshop session with Claire Venus on
. What do you think of my new header and footer? How does it make you feel?Completely done in this aft, wiped out. Went to bed to meditate and rest.
Friday – met a friend for breakfast and a walk. The torrential downpour was no longer torrential. Both got our brows done at lunch - saved me a job of having to find somewhere before heading to London next week for the Hay House Writers Workshop. Nipped to sisters for a cuppa and to pick up some bits before heading to a bodywork session that had been rearranged from the other day. Smear test at docs to end the day, completely finished me off. I don’t normally book in one thing after the other after the other on any day really anymore, never mind in autumn week. Lovely day though and another new connection made on here with
. A fellow warrior always looking to hack her way to improved health. Buzzing to have such a new connection. Bloody love for this! We have a lot in common in our approach, including retraining our nose breathing! Is that something you have tried/achieved? It took me nearly 3 years, leaving my nervous system feeling more consistently downregulated that it ever had done before then.Saturday – head not so great overnight/today. 2 blogs rattling round my head in the early hours, both written before breakfast. Typed one up, inspired by yesterday’s conversation with Amy on biohacking. I was never familiar with the term until I met R but biohacking my way to improved health is essentially what I’ve been doing for the past 5 years. It’s the same with brain-retraining. I wasn’t familiar it was a thing, but it’s essentially a big part of the wellness I experience today. I figured I might have about 25-30 biohacks for my first 12 months, at a time where I woke up to complete disability by illness and found myself without any mortgage insurance, sick pay or immediate family to help. But in sitting down and really dissecting it, so far I have 60 !!!! so I’m thinking best to split the blog down into batches of 10 or so otherwise it’ll come across overwhelming. And that isn’t how I approached it back then. It was always one at a time, changes were always small but sometimes the decisions and choices I made were big (and life-altering) so I don’t want to do a disservice to that.
Infrared sauna and cold plunge at teatime. The water was FREEZING. Hallelujah – it paused the pain I’ve been experiencing for 3 hours! This was more or less immediate too.
Sunday – head not so great overnight. 3rd day this week. Had a Triptan, my first in 2.5 months. Not because I haven’t needed pain relief, but because there’s no point in taking it if I can feel the chance of it working is minimal. I’ve experienced long breaks without it in the past few years where it wouldn’t take any effect at all so it feels good to have had a break from it. Took 2 meditations alongside it for it to kick in, but kick in it did!
Monthly check-in with R before he went back the hyper barrack chamber. He offered his session to me for my head but I feel I’ve got enough in place to hold me on this journey as things stand. The health benefits and improvements are always there and this is all I’m ever looking for.
Happy Monday! After our chats, connection became my word of the week and I ended up seeing it come up in various other writings, conversations and messages.
Last week’s energy was low, although it was hard to wake up this morning I feel like my energy is on its way up! I’m waking up without a bad head this week, a good start 💪🏽 But after my therapy session this morning I can feel the effect of the emotions in my body and I have a clenched jaw. So inspired by your sauna-ing I’ll be heading there shortly.
Amber! I'm so tickled to have been included here and for us to have found each other! I am actually doing a roundup post for next weekend and there have been so many awesome chronic illness/health related posts by amazing women this week - I'm going to include yours too 🤗
I am kind of amazed that you do aesthetics and body work. I think about how much TALKING both my hairdresser and my massage therapist have to do all day, and the thought of it just exhausts me. It's great though when you make a genuine connection with folks. I loved reading the winding journey of your week here.
I take a weekly yoga class that is taught by a fellow spoonie, geared specifically toward folx with ME/CFS and similar illnesses. In the "before times," I had always kind of rejected yoga as not enough exercise for me, but now I see it in a whole different light. And no, it's definitely not curative for me either, but a tool in my biohack belt, so to speak.
Speaking of biohacking, I bought a red/near-infrared light therapy box and I've been using it for a few weeks now. It's supposed to help repair and rebuild mitochondria. So far, it actually healed this skin thing on my chest that's been there for months, so hopefully it's doing similar things on my insides, LOL.