I want to speak to menstruation here because as I write this I am at the tail end of my bleed so it is really easy for me to answer that question. I start to feel the effects of my period a week before where I am exhausted and generally functioning on very limited energy. This is not ideal as a Mother to 3 with a lot of stuff to manage. I often sit with the guilt of wanting to return to the GP to get birth control so I can just switch off my period again - I have been off birth control control for 7 years now - it brings up all sorts of nonsense such as it would be so much easier to take birth control and then I could join the others who can continually produce and do - just like I used to. The world is not designed for rest and pause and so having at least 2 weeks of a month where I am unable to function like a “normal” person is a constant reminder of how there is the opportunity for me to fall into the feeling that I am failing. Failing because I can’t do and achieve all the time. Logically I know this is conditioning and most of the time I am okay with it, but as you asked it led me to think actually it would be lovely if more tolerance and acceptance for people’s differing needs existed 🙏🏼💖💖💖
Thank you for sharing all this, not least because we need to hear more stories about the reality a world where there is no rest and paise. I used to lose 2,5 weeks a month to menstrual migraine so I can relate to you on not being able to function in that respect. “More tolerance and acceptance for people’s differing needs” yes please 🙏🔹
I am so here for new ways of being//thinking and doing that open up space for anyone to pause and rest if and when they need to without feelings of guilt or not enoughness 💖💖💖💖🙏🏼
What a dreamy weekend we had! It was all so perfect, thank you for coming 😘😘
Have you ever had a vision come to life? - lots of little ones. I think the biggest was a vision of living in my own house mortgage free, I made it and it feels good!
What vision do you hold for yourself at the moment? - this is work in progress as I try and figure out who I am now I can’t have my own children.
What does effective rest mean to you? - Love this question that my sister got us pondering. Effective rest can mean many things but I’m still pondering it; mindless rest (being able to switch of my busy mind), physical rest (chilling out), physical activity (walks), nature rest (being able to hear only natural sounds and see nature is a rest), sleep (getting to bed at a good time and letting myself sleep as long as I need), social rest (being in a safe space where I can be 1000% me and let the chat flow without holding back)…
How have your energy levels felt this week? How do you honour how you are feeling? - Soooooooo tired 🥱 Haha, turns out being one legged takes a lot of fuel. I can feel my body demanding protein to help heal and I’m spending a lot of time in bed or on the sofa. Trying to fight the urge to get up and do, letting go of the small things.
What are the thought patterns running through your mind first thing on a morning? - my morning thoughts are usually planning what I’ll do when I get up e.g. go to toilet, brush teeth, wash face, drink water, go downstairs, make tea, make x for breakfast and eat… I usually (when I have a working leg) plan a pre breakfast task or cleaning whilst I drink my bottle of water. Then I’ve lately been doing a post breakfast house task, all planned in my head when I first wake up.
What does support look like/feel like to you? - Having relied so much on a lot of support lately this is a big one. Emotional support - a space I can share my emotions that are heard but also hear things that make me feel heard and seen (a difficult task!). Physical support - help with the physical aspects of doing in life. Administration support - I find admin so hard (probably the dyslexia) and my ideal support is someone sitting down and showing me how. Albeit someone doing it for me is also support. Financial support - reaching out with a lending pound, but a pound that comes with no repercussions or resentment. It can also be educational financial support, or a chatting through on how to manage the money, or just a checkin that it’s all going to be fine. I’m sure there are more.
What measures have you put in place to meet support needs? - I work very part time right now and have three day weekends. For the first time teaching I’ve been surviving the winter cold and flu season! But now I’ve been knocked out by my knee and I am feeling the pressure to find an alternative career where I can work from home.
What help and support do others reach out and ask you for? - I think I provide good emotional support but I’ve had to learn that not everyone can be two way and as my world has become heavier I’ve found unable to hold space for those people. I do however notice how wonderful the people who are there to support me are 💚
For those of us who menstruate: How do you feel at the onset of your period? How do you support how you feel? The week of my period it’s a no plans before work (working evenings), I clear the social diary and I don’t have any appointments at all that week (chronic illness = a lot of different appointments). I make sure the lunches I make are easier, take less time to prepare. I sleep as long as I need. I eat the chocolate (90%), I drink the cacao, I eat the meat and I don’t worry about it knowing my body is asking what it needs.
Loving all this deep insight and reflection! I love the breakdown of all the different pillars and elements of support. So important we do that (as I’ve learnt the very hard way), but not something I feel many of us are aware of.
Yeah I agree, and I think there are more pillars of support I’ve probably missed. As we’ve discussed before too, that we don’t have to receive that support from one person! I think I struggle with when I’m not receiving one type of support, where to then get it from.
That’s a valid point to make - when we’ve identified the support we need and realise we’re not receiving it, where do we get it from and how do we put in place measures to receive it?
Exactly that, I think physical support has been so lacking here and I’m not sure where to get that from. I’ve asked friends and they’ve told me things like ‘in a weeks time I can do coffee’ haha 😆 Or ‘let me know what you need’ but in the next breath ‘I’m too busy’. I don’t blame them but it’s like, okay I’ve expressed what I need but it’s not available.
I want to speak to menstruation here because as I write this I am at the tail end of my bleed so it is really easy for me to answer that question. I start to feel the effects of my period a week before where I am exhausted and generally functioning on very limited energy. This is not ideal as a Mother to 3 with a lot of stuff to manage. I often sit with the guilt of wanting to return to the GP to get birth control so I can just switch off my period again - I have been off birth control control for 7 years now - it brings up all sorts of nonsense such as it would be so much easier to take birth control and then I could join the others who can continually produce and do - just like I used to. The world is not designed for rest and pause and so having at least 2 weeks of a month where I am unable to function like a “normal” person is a constant reminder of how there is the opportunity for me to fall into the feeling that I am failing. Failing because I can’t do and achieve all the time. Logically I know this is conditioning and most of the time I am okay with it, but as you asked it led me to think actually it would be lovely if more tolerance and acceptance for people’s differing needs existed 🙏🏼💖💖💖
Thank you for sharing all this, not least because we need to hear more stories about the reality a world where there is no rest and paise. I used to lose 2,5 weeks a month to menstrual migraine so I can relate to you on not being able to function in that respect. “More tolerance and acceptance for people’s differing needs” yes please 🙏🔹
I am so here for new ways of being//thinking and doing that open up space for anyone to pause and rest if and when they need to without feelings of guilt or not enoughness 💖💖💖💖🙏🏼
Really appreciate your support and your general life mission. Looking forward to more! Also beautiful pictures ;)
Thank you🙏💜
What a dreamy weekend we had! It was all so perfect, thank you for coming 😘😘
Have you ever had a vision come to life? - lots of little ones. I think the biggest was a vision of living in my own house mortgage free, I made it and it feels good!
What vision do you hold for yourself at the moment? - this is work in progress as I try and figure out who I am now I can’t have my own children.
What does effective rest mean to you? - Love this question that my sister got us pondering. Effective rest can mean many things but I’m still pondering it; mindless rest (being able to switch of my busy mind), physical rest (chilling out), physical activity (walks), nature rest (being able to hear only natural sounds and see nature is a rest), sleep (getting to bed at a good time and letting myself sleep as long as I need), social rest (being in a safe space where I can be 1000% me and let the chat flow without holding back)…
How have your energy levels felt this week? How do you honour how you are feeling? - Soooooooo tired 🥱 Haha, turns out being one legged takes a lot of fuel. I can feel my body demanding protein to help heal and I’m spending a lot of time in bed or on the sofa. Trying to fight the urge to get up and do, letting go of the small things.
What are the thought patterns running through your mind first thing on a morning? - my morning thoughts are usually planning what I’ll do when I get up e.g. go to toilet, brush teeth, wash face, drink water, go downstairs, make tea, make x for breakfast and eat… I usually (when I have a working leg) plan a pre breakfast task or cleaning whilst I drink my bottle of water. Then I’ve lately been doing a post breakfast house task, all planned in my head when I first wake up.
What does support look like/feel like to you? - Having relied so much on a lot of support lately this is a big one. Emotional support - a space I can share my emotions that are heard but also hear things that make me feel heard and seen (a difficult task!). Physical support - help with the physical aspects of doing in life. Administration support - I find admin so hard (probably the dyslexia) and my ideal support is someone sitting down and showing me how. Albeit someone doing it for me is also support. Financial support - reaching out with a lending pound, but a pound that comes with no repercussions or resentment. It can also be educational financial support, or a chatting through on how to manage the money, or just a checkin that it’s all going to be fine. I’m sure there are more.
What measures have you put in place to meet support needs? - I work very part time right now and have three day weekends. For the first time teaching I’ve been surviving the winter cold and flu season! But now I’ve been knocked out by my knee and I am feeling the pressure to find an alternative career where I can work from home.
What help and support do others reach out and ask you for? - I think I provide good emotional support but I’ve had to learn that not everyone can be two way and as my world has become heavier I’ve found unable to hold space for those people. I do however notice how wonderful the people who are there to support me are 💚
For those of us who menstruate: How do you feel at the onset of your period? How do you support how you feel? The week of my period it’s a no plans before work (working evenings), I clear the social diary and I don’t have any appointments at all that week (chronic illness = a lot of different appointments). I make sure the lunches I make are easier, take less time to prepare. I sleep as long as I need. I eat the chocolate (90%), I drink the cacao, I eat the meat and I don’t worry about it knowing my body is asking what it needs.
Loving all this deep insight and reflection! I love the breakdown of all the different pillars and elements of support. So important we do that (as I’ve learnt the very hard way), but not something I feel many of us are aware of.
Yeah I agree, and I think there are more pillars of support I’ve probably missed. As we’ve discussed before too, that we don’t have to receive that support from one person! I think I struggle with when I’m not receiving one type of support, where to then get it from.
That’s a valid point to make - when we’ve identified the support we need and realise we’re not receiving it, where do we get it from and how do we put in place measures to receive it?
Exactly that, I think physical support has been so lacking here and I’m not sure where to get that from. I’ve asked friends and they’ve told me things like ‘in a weeks time I can do coffee’ haha 😆 Or ‘let me know what you need’ but in the next breath ‘I’m too busy’. I don’t blame them but it’s like, okay I’ve expressed what I need but it’s not available.
Welcome home, welcome home to yourself. Sending spring energy your way. ✨✨
Ahhh I need it, thank you🙏🩵🦋 I think my subscribe button is still saying subscribed (not upgrade) on here? Finding it tricky to work this stuff out 🙃
I talk it through in Substack 0-10k I'll give you access. xx