Thank you so much! It was upon being ignored that I learned to numb out. Maybe a question for next week: what would happen if we didn’t learn to ignore and numb out our illness? Would we stop hearing “there’s nothing you/we can do”? Hmmmm.
Ooooooo cracker of a question!!! My first instinct was the more advanced something is, the harder it is to treat. So if we were actually in tune with our bodies and not gaslit, we’d be catching things much earlier... I think you’re on to something! Xx
Always so thought provoking! I'm sorry to hear you had a difficult few days due to a migraine. I have never considered wellness not being the opposite of illness, but I imagine I'm now not going to be able to stop thinking about it! I guess speaking from my own illnesses, when I was working through them I wasn't "aiming" for wellness, I was aiming to be "normal" and pain free. Now that I am further into my healing journey, I'm looking at wellness separately - taking better care of my body, making changes to my lifestyle that will benefit me long term. Illness requires a cure, or treatment, whereas wellness doesn't. Wellness also feels like a privilege, a luxury to have.
I'm working hard to understand my needs, and put things into place to support those needs. Recently, I've discovered boundaries and taking a step back from the noise of chatter, Whatsapp messages etc. is really important for my mental health.
I’m also learning about boundaries. They’re hard work, rewarding when they work and very frustrating when someone crosses them (especially after repeating that they exist!). 💗
I’ve found that the hardest with boundaries....others cross the line after you’ve already voiced them and been clear. It’s beyond frustrating. The payoffs to perseverance have been big though. Often highlighting more inner work required on my part on the back of it🙃
Ahhh thank you so much for sharing such insight and reflections, I really appreciate you🙏 for the first 20 years I now realise what I had learned to do was numb out that which I could not get anyone to validate (agonising pain). For the last 5 years, I got clear on what our was I really wanted - wellness. And, like you, I aimed for that! All in a similar manner to you. I love your perspective on what illness means in the world we live in. I have a blog called “the incurable cure” I’ve been writing for over a year that I haven’t yet finished articulating. I wonder how your perspective helps that unfold some more. It’s an incredible way to describe illness. I see that with wellness too. But surely wellness ought to be a birthright?
Drowning out the noise around me and learning to tune into my own inner knowing is without doubt, the single most biggest achievement I’m most proud of in my life. It trumps everything. Cheerleading you on all the way with that - please keep in touch on how this progresses for you. 🙏🍀💜
Treat for Two! How lush! I genuinely think there are not enough intimate experiences for couples and friends this sounds so so lovely! ✨✨ sorry you were poorly. Lovely to see you today! Xx
What strikes me so much about your experiences Amber is that you have so much awareness of what is happening in your mind, body and soul it enables you to make conscious decisions for your wellbeing. You don’t hesitate to rest, to cancel plans, to meditate, to do all the things that nurture you. This is huge and a powerful gift that others will benefit from hearing and allowing them to take a piece of that knowledge on their own journey. 💫🙏
Aww thank you Louise, for seeing this in me and both recognising and understanding its value. As you might imagine, this has come at great cost, difficulty and challenge over the years. Not only was slowing down one of my biggest challenges, learning to accept being so misunderstood came in 2nd. I eventually got comfortable with being misunderstood by society, ignores, cast aside, unrecognised and undervalued. Whilst honouring what I knew to be true. In that what I was doing (far away from society norms and expectation) was for the huge benefit of my health and sanity. It is my greatest wish that others others take a piece of what I’ve learnt the hard way with them. That it gives them permission to think a little differently and be ok with that. I appreciate you shining a light on this. Especiallly this post, because how I worded the last section around our fear of pain took great care and consideration before sharing last night🙏
It is always the most painful parts, where we learn the most and it is often the gift we give to others. When you share ALL of the journey there are people breathing as sigh of relief, because they see themselves. It's amazing what you are doing. 🙏
I’m still pondering wellness being the opposite of illness, as we discussed the other day, I think the definition of both difficult and different for each person. And a side point, that we’re ignoring and numbing out so much of our illnesses!
Sending big hugs lovely, as always I enjoy reading what you write. 💗💗
Thank you so much! It was upon being ignored that I learned to numb out. Maybe a question for next week: what would happen if we didn’t learn to ignore and numb out our illness? Would we stop hearing “there’s nothing you/we can do”? Hmmmm.
Ooooooo cracker of a question!!! My first instinct was the more advanced something is, the harder it is to treat. So if we were actually in tune with our bodies and not gaslit, we’d be catching things much earlier... I think you’re on to something! Xx
Always so thought provoking! I'm sorry to hear you had a difficult few days due to a migraine. I have never considered wellness not being the opposite of illness, but I imagine I'm now not going to be able to stop thinking about it! I guess speaking from my own illnesses, when I was working through them I wasn't "aiming" for wellness, I was aiming to be "normal" and pain free. Now that I am further into my healing journey, I'm looking at wellness separately - taking better care of my body, making changes to my lifestyle that will benefit me long term. Illness requires a cure, or treatment, whereas wellness doesn't. Wellness also feels like a privilege, a luxury to have.
I'm working hard to understand my needs, and put things into place to support those needs. Recently, I've discovered boundaries and taking a step back from the noise of chatter, Whatsapp messages etc. is really important for my mental health.
Happy Sunday!
I’m also learning about boundaries. They’re hard work, rewarding when they work and very frustrating when someone crosses them (especially after repeating that they exist!). 💗
I’ve found that the hardest with boundaries....others cross the line after you’ve already voiced them and been clear. It’s beyond frustrating. The payoffs to perseverance have been big though. Often highlighting more inner work required on my part on the back of it🙃
Exactly that. Hard work but worthwhile!
Ahhh thank you so much for sharing such insight and reflections, I really appreciate you🙏 for the first 20 years I now realise what I had learned to do was numb out that which I could not get anyone to validate (agonising pain). For the last 5 years, I got clear on what our was I really wanted - wellness. And, like you, I aimed for that! All in a similar manner to you. I love your perspective on what illness means in the world we live in. I have a blog called “the incurable cure” I’ve been writing for over a year that I haven’t yet finished articulating. I wonder how your perspective helps that unfold some more. It’s an incredible way to describe illness. I see that with wellness too. But surely wellness ought to be a birthright?
Drowning out the noise around me and learning to tune into my own inner knowing is without doubt, the single most biggest achievement I’m most proud of in my life. It trumps everything. Cheerleading you on all the way with that - please keep in touch on how this progresses for you. 🙏🍀💜
Treat for Two! How lush! I genuinely think there are not enough intimate experiences for couples and friends this sounds so so lovely! ✨✨ sorry you were poorly. Lovely to see you today! Xx
This is helpful feedback to know, thank you
I did a spa day with a friend for her 40th that was just me and her. The treatment was out of this world, as was the whole experience.
Loved this morning. Decided to keep the word joyful as my word of the week🙂
What strikes me so much about your experiences Amber is that you have so much awareness of what is happening in your mind, body and soul it enables you to make conscious decisions for your wellbeing. You don’t hesitate to rest, to cancel plans, to meditate, to do all the things that nurture you. This is huge and a powerful gift that others will benefit from hearing and allowing them to take a piece of that knowledge on their own journey. 💫🙏
Aww thank you Louise, for seeing this in me and both recognising and understanding its value. As you might imagine, this has come at great cost, difficulty and challenge over the years. Not only was slowing down one of my biggest challenges, learning to accept being so misunderstood came in 2nd. I eventually got comfortable with being misunderstood by society, ignores, cast aside, unrecognised and undervalued. Whilst honouring what I knew to be true. In that what I was doing (far away from society norms and expectation) was for the huge benefit of my health and sanity. It is my greatest wish that others others take a piece of what I’ve learnt the hard way with them. That it gives them permission to think a little differently and be ok with that. I appreciate you shining a light on this. Especiallly this post, because how I worded the last section around our fear of pain took great care and consideration before sharing last night🙏
It is always the most painful parts, where we learn the most and it is often the gift we give to others. When you share ALL of the journey there are people breathing as sigh of relief, because they see themselves. It's amazing what you are doing. 🙏
I love the new name of Treat for Two!
I’m still pondering wellness being the opposite of illness, as we discussed the other day, I think the definition of both difficult and different for each person. And a side point, that we’re ignoring and numbing out so much of our illnesses!
Sending big hugs lovely, as always I enjoy reading what you write. 💗💗