Warrior Weekly: Building on the new
Lots to fill you in on this week - many different tangents taken, yet deeply informative nonetheless.
Monday – vulnerability hangover in what I shared in last week’s Warrior Weekly re ancestral trauma and past lives. Have I shared too much? Gone a step too far? The answer is plain and simple enough for me now – I’m here to speak my truth, to express my authentic voice and if I cut that portion out of my share last week then I would be hiding not only parts of me/my experience but I would also be keeping from you aspects of my healing and ultimately what it’s taken for me to be as well as I am. So who would that be serving? Me making out that it’s taken me less than it has to get me to where I am now isn’t going to help anyone. I am proud of myself for relaying it as it was but boy did it feel vulnerable.
“Going Paid”
workshop with - I’ve always had the intention to set up a paid membership community in addition to the amazing space I’ve created here.This space right here will remain the same in respect of the Warrior Weekly update I share with you every Sunday. Plus 1-2 blogs shared sporadically around that. I have long since needed a more contained space to share the occasional blog that I don’t want to be accessed for an all to see. I have a few ideas as to how to build on a smaller space, including an online circle.
I would love to know what activities you might like to build into such a space
Met friend for lunch. Was telling her all about The Warriors Path, a journey she is going to take with me starting next month. A breakthrough will be experienced following the 3rd online session and – as if I needed further clarification that this would be the case – she shared with me that the word BREAKTHROUGH was her word of the year! Her year certainly is going to end with the breakthrough of all breakthroughs, in ways in which neither of us are yet aware.
Afternoon pamper with regular client (facial and lashlift). My business is undergoing restructure atm and going forward I will no longer be offering beauty as a standalone treatment. This change will not affect existing regular clients. This one in particular was so pleased to hear that.
Tuesday – 9am writing session. Brunch with friend. We haven’t seen each other most of this year. “I’ve never known anyone move so fast, experience so much growth and forward movement in such a short space of time” she said. Things really are taking shape this year, there’s been a big lift off. I put that down to the community of space holders around me (monthly retreat day, weekly online check-in/yoga, floatation tanks, period pamper and whatever else I can get my hands on). As has been the case for the last 5 years – it continues to be a series of baby steps that I take. I don’t see that this will ever change. Nor will the practices and spaces I’ve got in place each week/month.
Teatime and I see that its World Mental Health Day. I bang together the quickest post on Linked In, share it to Instagram then turn it into a blog: Baring all About the Breakdown – all 3 became my highest read shares by a substantial amount. I’ve never gone public about what happened 7 years ago this month before.
Wednesday – the energy continues to be dark and heavy as it has been for weeks. Feeling the stress and duress that R is under with work projects and the build up of everything came up to manifest emotionally. Even though I was full I wanted a Greggs breakfast on the way from his to mine. By some bizarre twist of fate I missed the services and ended up back home empty handed! I would never begrudge myself a little bit of what I fancy but this was an emotional reaction to feeling the stress alongside the dark and heavy energy which for me is showing up as serious health concerns for a fair number of people around me atm and the death of a friend.
Weekly online yoga check-in, thank goodness! Really need it this week. Had a chat around how I was feeling, how I was reacting and how I was holding myself steady. It comes back to the community of space holders I have around me, this being a fine example of one of them. An essential and non-negotiable part of my week. All alongside my other myriad of daily practices (meditation, journaling, breathwork, nature walks etc etc).
Back in my body just in time for a busy day today. Usual Milo lunchtime walk, bodywork regular this aft and new bodywork client this evening.
Thursday – last night’s new client messaged to say she slept so well last night and has released so much tension. Yee-ha!
9am writing. Ironically I was writing the section The Door to Joy for my memoir. Yet I am in this in between place of finding it tricky to accept that I’m still only writing my first draft when a part of me wants to be much further ahead than I already am. Time to practice what I preach and in this case, had just been writing about! I wrote a list of all I was celebrating, achieving and experiencing in writing my ‘shitty first draft’. Reflecting on where I’m at, how far I’ve come and all this practice of writing my story in full has revealed and uncovered. There’s win after win after win.
Client friend Beth couldn’t arrive soon enough for her monthly Retreat With Me day. I needed this space, this friendship, this connection and this experience this week. She’d been ready for it for over a week herself. I couldn’t believe the update, never received one like it. The breakthroughs she is having. The healing that is happening. The changes that are now effortless in her life. Transformative. Expansive. Her awareness is on another level. The love that she has for herself. The intuition that she is connecting with.
It’s coming up in conversation a lot recently…this level of healing, this level of growth, this level of expansion does not mean that your life is without its trials, its tribulations, its hardships. There will always be horrifying events that take place in the world, loved ones pass away, redundancies happen, news of a serious nature can and will blindside you on occasions. It’s the way you look at it that will be different. The way you respond to it. The way you take care of yourself as you hold yourself through these difficult and inevitable times.
As she was leaving she reminded me of how I’d encouraged her to see me monthly when we lived much closer and first met 4 years ago. Her visits following were sporadic. She did the overnight retreat with me the other year (which she found to be a huge awakening). She’s booked me in for big pamper sessions over her birthdays. She came to see me for The Expansive Experience last year (life-changing). She’s only very recently started to travel all the way from the North East to see me monthly. Advising clients to see me monthly is something I no longer say. Only you can know when it feels in alignment to book in, to return, to make a deeply healing experience like this more regular. How do I know what is right for you? Or exactly where you are on your own journey? I don’t and I try not to pretend to anymore. This client case and how her journey has unfolded being the exact reason I don’t anymore. When it’s time its time and only you will know that.
Friday – I’ve had a theory on why chronic ill health is most prevalent in women for a long while. Today the day came to articulate this in a powerful read, timed with Friday 13th and all I uncovered via Kirsty Gallagher around this sacred, previously honoured and celebrated day. Read about it and share your own reflections here. How do you feel about Friday 13th? Do you have any theories on why chronic ill health affects majority women?
Made a new connection with
who writes . Like me, she is also writing a memoir which I for one, cannot wait to read! Do we have any other memoir writing chronic illness warriors on here? Thinking out loud here…perhaps we could establish a writing group between us? How about it?Long walk with Milo in the rain. We do love it when no one else is out.
A 3rd client booked in for The Expansive Experience with me this week! Feeling a big shift since the restructure of my business, speaking out about what I have this week and remaining true to my authentic voice, even when its been a challenge.
Do you find that when you voice something (in a safe space) that’s been coming up for you, something big, something vulnerable, that you experience big shifts in your life?
Saturday – breakfast with Kay. Eating out a lot this week. Afternoon cracking on with long overdue admin. Sooooo many big jobs to be getting on with. It’s the first time I’ve sat down to it in too long. Felt better writing a list and getting clear on what’s important and must be done. Made good headway before R’s tonight. Beaut blue skies and sunshine days – even if a little on the cool side now we’re full flow into autumn.
Sunday – leisurely morning. Cold autumnal walk in the cool crisp sunshine. We incorporated a bit of a spontaneous yoga practice. I closed my eyes holding R’s hand and practised leaning in to that support and trusting that I was safe as I walked along the field. It was an interesting practice. Not one I would’ve been able to do previously. But to lean into support is now a conscious choice I make. It’s not come easy to me, it’s taken a lot of inner work and is a choice time after time. Tuning in to my thoughts as I did was interesting. I was reminding myself that I could trust in the unknown – even if that meant there was a pot hole along the way. Shortly after there was a dip in my step. But I knew I could carry on. R took over and did the same practice along the next section of the field. Is it a practice you would give a go? You can do this alone by walking backwards. A practice that is also great for those of us who have knee issues as well as for building trust in that which you cannot see.
R wanted to try a hyper baric oxygen chamber. I’m open to everything so might as well give it a try. We both had a 20min taster session at Oxify in Retford. I wasn’t sure what to expect or that I’d like it. Its 95% oxygen vs the 27% we breathe in naturally. At a rate of 17litres per minute. We both got on well with it. R plans to go back for monthly 60 minute sessions. I’m undecided as even once a year can provide big health benefits. However, on the drive home I realised my tinnitus had completely gone. Up until recent years I wasn’t consciously aware I had it! Give the amount of disability I’ve been living with, something that is pretty debilitating as a standalone issue paled into insignificance alongside it. Interestingly, unleashing the gift of channelling last year (see Friday 13th share with a big mention on this) – or maybe it was the suppressed anger that surfaced and was released? – saw this tinnitus halve. Though in this instance, it returned a few hours later, I still believe that I will one day fully heal the tinnitus in just the same way I believe I will the migraine disease too.
As a side note, oxygen inhalation is the customary treatment for cluster attacks. Inhalation of 100% oxygen at a flow rate of around 12 litres per minute for 15 minutes seems to be a standard. This can break or end the pain cycle. I’ve always wondered why we don’t take a proactive approach and have this first? As in before attack to prevent them. Though I’m in no position to give medical advice, it makes sense to me that regular access to oxygen would act as a preventative. A hyper baric oxygen chamber is usually an hour’s session or can even be booked for 90minutes. If it has the ability to pause or stop excruciating pain, imagine what regular use can achieve?
