Menstrual health - the solution
Getting to the root of the cause.
Post 3 of a 3 part series.
Earlier this year, I was interviewed by Vicki Hodges on the aspect of my journey which centres around hormonal health. Last week we looked at the 3 greatest physical challenges, this week I go off on a bit of a tangent when delving into the mental and emotional side.
What were your greatest emotional and mental health challenges?
One of the bigger resources I’ve had access to in helping me piece together the horror of my lived experience - in a way that has empowered me further to understand exactly what I’ve been living with and going through - all this time has been the Migraine World Summit. Set up by founder Carl Sinncinato in 2016. A resource of the world’s top neurologists and headache specialists. A resource I will forever be indebted to and in part has helped support the voice I am able to use today. Helping me better able to articulate the complexities of this illness in a way that other people can hear what I’m saying.
In 2021 one neurologist added to the well-known and well documented root cause of the disease “brain abnormality” a second (less known) root cause which is:
“an inability to regulate emotions”
Once I understood this, I made space in my life to learn how to regulate my emotions. Whilst everyone else was at work earning money to pay for their outgoings and cost of living crisis, I sat in a static caravan without any central heating learning to regulate my emotions.
So determined was I to heal myself at root cause level and continue a journey where I’d set off into the unknown all alone with little more than hope that I might, just might, get better - alongside supporting beliefs that “I matter. My health matters” - I sold my luxury city centre apartment and moved into a static caravan.
In doing so, it’s been 2 years since I experienced pain to a severe and agonising extent. It’s nearly one year since I experienced pain to a high level that I would consider comparable to childbirth, gunshot and kidney stones (using the pain scale I adopted through the Migraine World Summit).
So, what has been my greatest emotional challenge?
My greatest emotional challenge has been dysregulated emotions. The fact that no one has taught, modelled or shown me how to regulate my emotions. Collectively, many of us are emotionally dysregulated human beings. During our periods, generally speaking, women are at their most emotionally dysregulated. Is it any wonder we are suffering as much as we are? If our inability to regulate our emotions is one (little known) root cause of migraine disease then what else is this at the root cause of?
To break it down into specific emotions, irritability and anger were the two main emotions in particular for me. Irritability pre-period was a guaranteed migraine trigger for many years. Anger was such a suppressed emotion that I didn’t connect with it at all until recent years. Once I began to live (and enjoy) a life of full self-expression, I had so much anger rising in me. I am angry that I have been suppressed for so long. I am angry at all I have had to suffer, live through and endure.
From a mental health perspective…
I have been living with anxiety and depression (severe, yet undiagnosed).
How has menstrual ill health affected your life?
It has cost me everything. I lost my job, my career, my income. The glowing reputation I had built in that industry. I split up with my partner. Thinking about it, not just that one but the one before and the one before that. I sold my home and made life-changing decisions and choices that others did not agree with. I’ve had to change everything about my life and transform in ways that most people wouldn’t even give consideration to doing.
The ill health I have suffered has affected my life greatly. Every aspect of it.
What are the 3 things that helped the most?
Intriguing question. There isn’t any one thing. There is no quick fix, no magic pill and no overnight solution. If I were to narrow it down to 3 things, specifically relating to menstrual health, it would be:
1. Learning to rebalance my hormones
The book “Balance Your Hormones Balance Your life” by Dr Claudia Welch was recommended to me back in 2019. I was already some way into the journey of research and making changes. As overwhelming as this book can feel when you consider what a balanced life really looks like versus the ones we are living today, I was determined to keep making changes – teeny tiny changes. I’d already set off on a path into the unknown all alone and was happy to play the long game.
It took me 3 years to notice a difference. One full moon I felt a sense of balance for the first time in my life. The word balanced is not a word that any one would have ever used to describe me before. Yet, I started to feel more balanced in my body and in my life.
I still lost 2.5 weeks a month to menstrual migraine but I was no longer chronically fatigued and one summer, made it 14 weeks pain free. Bigger changes to menstrual migraine happened in the range of 4-5 years.
Menstrual migraine has been cited the most severe and disabling of all attacks, as well as the most difficult and challenging to overcome (Migraine World Summit 2021). My experience affirms this. Menstrual migraine now made up of monthly episodes (mild pain with only a much smaller number of symptoms) and occasional full-blown attacks (a handful a year) are all that I am left with. I still believe I can heal fully and continued health improvements (alongside significant research) only further suggest to me that this is possible.
2. Bodywork therapy
Bodywork therapy is a deeply healing, deeply restorative full body treatment. A major player in my road to recovery. An essential and non-negotiable monthly appointment started in 2019.
The treatment incorporates different elements of massage and is as energetic as it is physical. It’s different to the counselling therapy I had for 3.5 years which was a major player when it came to increasing my mental strength. The mental capacity I found myself with at the point of disability by chronic illness back in 2018 was the pinnacle of my being able to take back the reigns of creation for my own health. A deeply healing treatment of this nature is one in which I see that is more connected to emotional health, physical health and can incorporate the deep healing of trauma both in this life time and in previous lifetimes/ancestrally.
Embarking on a journey of this nature opened doors to healing that I never knew existed. No one told me that you can heal yourself.
If, like me, you haven’t been told this either, did you know?
You can heal heartbreak.
You can heal past hurts.
You can heal your life.
One of the things that struck me most with the bodywork was the coaching element – the guidance and the time and space that was gifted with it. Helping me meet needs that I was desperate to have met. Space that was held for me – for all of me.
My body led the way with this one, in that it was telling me that I needed this therapy no matter the location I had to travel to, the cost or the frequency of treatment. I started with it once a week initially and have had it monthly ever since. Even though I am as well as I am today, I plan to continue having this treatment and incorporate additional therapies such as retreats, fortnightly floatation tank therapy, monthly period pamper, one to one yoga/check in online each week, online journeys/circles and all else that comes my way that feels in alignment with my vision of full health and vibrant energy.
Was it worth putting myself on a shopping ban back in 2015 for? Switching supermarket (to Aldi/Lidl) in 2016? Quitting drinking in 2018? Selling my home in 2020? Moving into someone else’s home for 2021? And living without central heating from 2022? For me, yes. Because,
I matter. My health matters.
I recognised the value of this investment in bodywork and healing trauma so much that early on I declared “I’m going to train in this so that I can help others the way I am being helped”. Though I’ve come to appreciate that the deep healing journey I have found myself on is not for the faint hearted. Nor a journey to be embarked upon without sufficient support in the form of someone that can truly hold space for you – for all of you. Irrespective of what treatment/therapy you have. Working with someone who is trauma informed and aware is essential. For me, that person has to have gone the distance with their own journey themselves (or be on the path a fair way towards it). And also only work with one or two clients a day (in the same way that I now do) from an energetic perspective.
3. Feeling free to be me.
In the last month, I have never felt as alive and well and vibrant as I do now. I have also never been as true to myself as I am now and I wonder at the correlation between the two?
What are your thoughts?
What are the 3 things that are helping you most right now?
Related reads
A break-up Letter to pain
Dear pain, I am writing to let you know that I do not require your presence in my life anymore. I’ve felt enough, learnt enough and thanks to our brief separation last year, have connected to what life without pain is like. So much so, I can no longer envisage you in it.
Menstrual health – a journey
Post 1 of a 3 pert series. Earlier this year, I was interviewed on the aspect of my journey which centres around hormonal health. Though menstrual migraine is only one part of the spectrum of the disease I’ve been living with, this interview relates only to this type of attack. Known as the most severe and disabling, the most challenging to overcome and…
Menstrual health – the challenges
Post 2 of a 3 part series. Earlier this year, I was interviewed by Vicki Hodges on the aspect of my journey which centres around hormonal health. I’d love to see Vicki share a collection of stories like mine in a book.
First, I’m glad that your huge investment in your health and well-being has paid off. Bodywork is something of a closed book to me but, having spent the past year working through severe childhood trauma with a therapist, I can testify that it was money well-spent. However, I’m still reeling from the physical and emotional onslaught of the last few years, which have included burnout, breakdown, three major surgeries, breast cancer and its sequels….oh, and Covid. I’m getting there but my energy levels are hugely depleted. I’m 65 and on long-term oestrogen suppressent therapy to prevent cancer recurrence, so it’s like menopause on stilts. Are you UK-based? How does one go about finding a safe and qualified bodywork therapist? Any advice would be much appreciated. Also, since you ask, the things I have found most helpful with regulating my emotions (like you it was never done in childhood and my mother was a poster-child for emotional dysregulation) - are gardening, meditation and creativity.
Thanks for this series, Amber! It’s so illuminating to read about your journey and hear about everything that wasn’t working, and the things that have worked. I talk with the folks I support all the time about how Western medicine is really only helpful for managing acute, crisis-level conditions, and is pretty garbage with chronic issues. I also support many folks with menstrual cycle who experience emotional dysregulation in the winter week, and sometimes it feels like an uphill battle to ask folks to consider that they might have different needs during this time time. It’s so counter-cultural! I appreciate your sharing how you’ve made it work and how you’ve found your voice outside of these systems. I’m inspired by your bravery!