“Maybe you too, have been praised for strength
when what you really needed was to be believed.”
- The Illusion of Function
Today, I read a Substack note that unexpectedly turned into a poem before the chapter on The Illusion of Function: What Happens When We Mistake Survival for Strength.
It’s the fourth week in a row where there have been connection issues. Today’s was so significant I think I was the only one there in the end.
I’ve been able to re-record tonight’s reading but I still have the others from previous week’s to do. (Dismissed, Choose Your Path and The Power of Belief.)
Yesterday, I got caught up in a lot of old story patterns coming up for my attention:
I’m behind.
I need to get on and do.
There’s no time for me to rest.
I need to get this right.
I was putting pressure on myself and it didn’t end well. I’ve been unwell overnight and most of today.
I did today what I needed to do yesterday which was journal. Take up space and be seen for needing rest. Allow myself to be instead of attaching worth and value to what I produce.
It’s been uncomfortable, painful and discombobulating.
I voiced it - on here and to close connections.
I listened.
In the end I wrote a few poems including the one I share on this video and one I hope to share with you later in the week. A part 2 on Meet Me In The Struggle is coming.
I know that one landed and it made me feel far less alone when some of you responded to my note and in the original live today to share you were finding yourselves very much in the messy middle too.
So may this chapter reading meet you right where you are and may it be a reminder that no matter what season you are find yourself in, no matter how messy it gets and hopeless it feels, you, my friend, are not alone.
At the end of each chapter reading we explore the gentle invitation that accompanies each one. As well as the three prompts in the reading, there were a further three prompts to complete them:
What sensations arise when you imagine not needing to appear ok?
Where have you mistaken coping for healing?
What does functioning cost you energetically, emotionally, spiritually?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Any reflections, insights or questions you may have on this chapter reading or your experience of performing function.
Next week we will return with the second part of this chapter, The Intelligence of Malfunction.
You can register your interest on the live which will be in your inbox or reserve your place here.
Tuesday 18th August at 4pm BST.
5pm CEST | 8:30pm IST | 11am EDT | 8am PDT
Next week’s chapter comes with a reminder: Your body is not broken.
You do not need fixing.
There is nothing to worry about. Nothing is wrong.
Your body is communicating. There is an intelligence to malfunction. And together, we’ll explore that.
This is a free gathering.
A circle of people coming together.
A ceremonial space.
A gentle ritual of reflection in community.
A sanctuary to pause.
A haven to belong.
There will be no camera.
You’ll be able to see me. I won’t be able to see you.
Sharing in the comments is always an invitation, never an expectation.
Join us from your bed, your sofa, your favourite chair, or wherever you feel most comfortable.
Bring a cup of tea, a notebook or journal if you wish, or simply come to listen.
Come exactly as you are.
You are warmly invited.
Reserve your space for next Tuesday (18th August) here.
Pre-order The Book
If you’d like to follow the journey beyond these lives, you can also pre-order the book here:
Migraine: Root. Reclaim. Rise.
So far you can pre-order it through Waterstones here and The Great British Bookshop here
5% discount here - free UK delivery when you spend over £30.
10% discount here - free UK delivery with this order. Recommended
Further links to order overseas will follow.
Whether you’ve been here since the beginning or you’ve only just found this space, thank you for walking alongside me.
Everyone who pre-orders the book will also be invited to an online Activation Ceremony on Tuesday 13th October 2026.
Simply email your order confirmation to amberhorrox@yahoo.co.uk once received.
You support, your orders, your cheerleading, means the world to me.
Thank you.
Amber💛
