I learnt the hard way so you don’t have to.
Part 3 of a 3 part series on the struggle of slowing down.
In the past year of enjoying deeper and more meaningful connection with readers and the many of us showing up on here to share our stories, overcoming the challenges it takes to speak our truth and baring all for the benefit of others (as well as our own healing), I’ve been part of a few conversations where I’ve been reflecting on the question
What if its not in WHAT we do, but HOW we approach it?
In my healing journey to date, I have
Reduced inflammation in my body
Rebalanced my hormones
Broken cycle after cycle
Learnt to breathe through my nostrils
Slowed down/ pacing
Regulated my nervous system
Regulated my emotions
Rewired neural pathways to my brain
Befriended the pain
Fully integrated my inner child
Healed trauma from childhood, self-inflicted and ancestral
Cycle synced my life
Cleared past life and energetic blockages
Become deeply conscious and aware
Connected to true purpose/my true self
Photo by Motoki Tonn on Unsplash
This has enabled me to break the chronic pain cycle, break the chronic fatigue cycle, balance my hormones in a way that’s brought balance into my life and open up a new way of being, seeing and believing.
What I am learning in this community is that many of us are on this journey, turning to a more integrative approach and yet still may not be experiencing improvement or have that feeling of being tossed out at sea unsure of whether they’re doing what they’re meant to be doing or if how they’re feeling is how they’re meant to be feeling.
My greatest passion is to help others who live with invisible illness find their voice. To show others what life is like on the other side of chronic suffering. I have a special interest in the role our belief system plays in our wellness (or lack thereof). However, I also appreciate there is much more to it than that.
I have also come to see that just as there is little interest in the medical field with all manner and range of complex and chronic illness - irrespective of whether it is common or rare - there also lies little interest in recovery, with no exploration of how that is possible for some and not for others. To add insult to injury, the majority of us we are fobbed off with the projected opinion that recovery is not possible, or if it is, only for a lucky few. This is more dismissal and gaslighting added to the gaslighting and dismissal we have already been facing all these decades.
I do believe that recovery is possible for many more of us and that we need to begin the journey of understanding recovery in more depth. That it needs to be less about the what and more about the how. I also believe there will be more than one way to recover. I am simply here to share my story, glean the insights from the path to wellness that I chose and share what was in alignment for me. This does not necessarily mean that this is right for you or that you should do it this way too.
It’s taken me to write this book, twice over, become deeply triggered by an insight I’d missed and go off in my own healing journey deeper still, to truly be able to reflect and glean what the hell got me from where I was to where I am now, taking me beyond what it is that I’ve done.
I read the other day that the hero’s journey and the path of the warrior is relevant to those of us living with chronic illness when it comes to being the protagonist, experiencing a shift in circumstances, embarking upon a quest, finding allies, resulting in a personal transformation and legacy, but that the ultimate victory cannot be ours. Why not? I believe it can. But, like I say, I have a particular interest in the part belief plays in our wellness.
I often hear there are no top tips and I do believe that’s true when it comes to what to do when each case and set of circumstances is so unique and so complex. Yet I want to share with you my top 10 ways to unleash the warrior within. Ways of being, seeing and believing that will take those of us on the warrior’s path to a victory we have been sold isn’t ours to claim.
Drown out the noise
Tune in to what you know to be true
Ask big questions (such as What do I need? What do I want? Who am I?)
Start with where you are and work with what you’ve got
When it comes to doing, do what you can when you can
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
Know that you have a choice (even when it doesn’t feel like it)
Take back the reigns of creation (for your own life, your health, your healing)
Open to possibility (without knowing all the answers)
For me, this isn’t for others to tell us what is or isn’t possible, particularly when the interest and understanding is so bleak. This is a rite of passage. Your rite of passage. A transition from the ability to survive to the ability to thrive.
If there’s one thing complete disability by illness freed up for me was the space to claim this rite. The space to re-claim all parts of myself. And with that I will end this piece with a poem I wrote earlier this year:
Space.
In stepping back
Creating space
Making space
Feeling into space
Opening up space
Allowing space
Taking up space
I am space
And it is me
Infinite
Expansive
Feeling free
Part 1 and 2 of this popular series:
The Biggest Insight I Missed
“Change is hard at the start, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end”, Robin Sharma.
7 decades, wow! It is incredibly challenging to untangle what you want from all that you articulate so well. And then to face all that we do even if you get that far. I’ve long since wanted to write a post about cure but the words have not yet flowed. It’s not that I don’t believe in them, it’s the carrot that’s dangled that’s the journey I didn’t want to take. It felt less risky to go off into the unknown all alone and learn to trust in something else.
Absolutely profound wisdom, especially in summarising the journey as the hero's journey and the rite of passage, because no two people are facing exactly the same challenges, even with the same dis-ease name. Since it's a rite of passage that must be undertaken alone, it solely relies on our intuition and the inner guidance from our source of faith/belief system (or the lack thereof like you mentioned) to walk that lonely path. But as I mentioned to another friend, it's also a collectivist journey, in a way you and me converse here sharing our lessons and empathising with a greater audience of fellow warriors. Truly an empowering and eye-opening walk.