What would you say to 18 year old you?
My response went deep and I feel it in the pit of my sacral chakra now that I am about to share this out loud with you!
I do love this kind of journalling/self-reflective prompt. When I have sat with it, journaled on it, meditated in the past I came to find I would tell my 11 year old self,
“everything you are doing is research. Remember this and continue the research. Enjoy it. Lean into it. Know that it serves a great purpose.”
When I’ve tried to connect with my 8 year old self, it turned out I was blocking her. It was actually she who wanted to share insight, guidance and wisdom with me!
If I was looking back to my younger self at around the age of 18/19, I’d nudge myself to tend to that addiction to pain she has. The signs are there. I would guide her
“I know you’ve never known life without it Amber and your new life is a lot to handle. But it can be this good and it can get even better.
You don’t need to drink yourself into oblivion. Pay attention to how ill drink is making you. This is alcohol poisoning, it is your body’s way of saying no more.
Take care of me please.
This belief that you have; ‘when something good happens something bad is sure to follow’. Sit with that one.
Ask yourself young Amber, is this an empowering belief or does this leave you feeling disempowered?
Did you know you can empower yourself?
It might not have been possible before, not for a long time, but it is now. This is what your mum wants for you, she has difficulty putting it into words.
She wants you to learn how to express yourself. She wants you with all her mite to learn what she couldn’t. She believes you will be better off on your own in learning how to do this. It is all coming from a place of well-meaning intention.
Trust that you know what you’re talking about when it comes to those agonising attacks. Trust that you will work it out way ahead of the medical field. You don’t need their validation. You can learn to validate yourself.
It is not their fault (nor yours) that they do not have the education, means and capacity to support you with this. That said, it will become your responsibility to learn to do this for yourself. You WILL find a way to educate yourself. You WILL be supported on this journey, in this process.
You do not need others to see that taking responsibility is one of your key strengths. But you will need to see this as one of your own. It will be key to your greatest breakthrough.
No one else will help you get to the root of the problem, but you can.
You will attract what you need at the time you need it. Allies will be sent your way.
Trust you know the way.”
A post inspired by one of my favourite Substack writers, Madelleine Muller. In her most recent post, asking the same question.
🌹🌻🌸💐💚💜❤️🌼😍🥰
You have such a gorgeous view and sunset! I also wish I could say “take care of me please”. I did try - but I really didn’t know how.