What happens when you receive the support you need
Time to rewrite the narrative.
With losing my mental, physical and emotional health resulting in the end of my job, career and income, my confidence in my mentoring and leadership capabilities have been in tatters.
For the past 6 years I’ve been dreaming about how I wasn’t good enough at work. I felt a massive failing and like many others, overrode the fact that I was severely ill for a very long time.
It’s only recently - after years of deep healing, working on my subconscious blocks and self-belief - that I dreamt I was working in a new environment, was feeling supported and found myself flourishing.
I’ve been told for years that I would make a great mentor. My glowing reputation in the industry I was in long behind me, I’d lost connection with the fact that I already was a great mentor.
One of my strengths as a business manager was developing and supporting my team to excel in their roles in a way that they felt motivated to succeed and achieve. Not only that, their happiness was a feeling I noted I wanted them to have on the business plan!
It came as no surprise to me that I ended up with a happy, motivated, successful team! I’d made space for it, planned for it and intended it to be that way.
Recently, I’ve been over the moon that people who consider themselves neurodivergent feel welcomed in my space. Whether that’s in the comments, in circle or as we Heal Through Writing.
I feel like I’ve been through so many deaths and rebirths that it had slipped my mind this has always been the case.
When one of my highest performing team members told me he believed he was autistic, I believed him. I didn’t need to see a diagnosis (years later I found out he went on to obtain one).
I discovered he was a genius yet I couldn’t get the powers that be to see it. He was so incredibly talented, he was capable of building an IT system that the business would have benefit from, likely to go on to be worth millions. But all anyone was interested in was identifying his flaws.
I never tire of this quote:
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid” - Albert Einstein
Perhaps it’s because this is what happened to my brother. He is a genius too. Not in the conventional school educated system sense (he flunked his GCSEs). But he has a photographic memory. What he doesn’t know about machines isn’t worth knowing. He remembers their entire layout for years afterwards, how to optimise them to maximise profits and if there’s any breakdown or failure, he knows where and how to fix it. Though he is unable to explain to anyone how.
Now businesses want to employ him all over the world and his current employer (finally he is recognised and valued at last - I am immensely proud of him) wants to know why his team are the only ones in the company to receive zero customer complaints.
I didn’t realise back then that I have a flare for identifying the genius in people. When others in business are complaining and bitching and back stabbing, I can only see talent and how that person could accelerate, if only they had the support they would benefit from.
I relate to my brother in the way that I can’t explain to you how I know, how I am able to hold space for you to unearth what it is that you need to know, I just know I can and I do.
Hosting life-changing retreat days here at my holiday home in 7 Lakes over recent years has been a game changer for me as well as clients.
Helping people meet needs they didn’t know they had AND connecting them to their dreams, vision and what they want has reignited the fire within me that I thought had been extinguished long ago.
In my early 30’s I was so fascinated by business I used to devour business and leadership books. I knew what it took to lead great teams AND make profit. I just didn’t have the fully embodied confidence to connect deeply with my knowing of this, nor sufficient support in place.
I remember I wouldn’t pay the money to see a coach or mentor myself. Only I looked back later and wondered what if…?
Would my health have deteriorated to the extent it did? Would I have received the support I so desperately needed? Questions I will never know the answer to.
I’ve learnt the hard way.
I take responsibility for putting myself in low support environments.
Now I don’t do anything but invest in myself. My life has become all about investing in me. Take for example the video in my hero post. I am done with trying to do everything on my own, figure it all out by myself. I understand what my needs are and now I bring in support to help me meet those needs.
The end result? I am thriving.
I believe we are all here to thrive too. That this is possible for us all.
Not in spite of what we’ve been through, but because of it.
Recently, I carried out my first official mentoring session.
I’ve been doing them unofficially for a while now. (You can read about what happened in the week following Chanel Riggle’s session with me, taking her from a place of disconnect to a place of deep healing, leading to what she refers to as a miracle of relief.)
Author of Infinite Ability,
, approached me for one to one mentoring and we had our first session this week.“I’d like to chat about where to go with my writing. How to make money out of it. I’d also like to talk to you about writing my book. My story. Where to start.”
I tailor made the outline to suit the needs of the client. In an hour we covered ALOT.
The service her business provides, who she is uniquely here to serve, her personal vision as well as community and world vision. In one session, we identified what her biggest barrier was. What it is that is preventing her from getting the book out of her head, down on to paper.
In the next session we are going to review what unravels and unfolds. There will be more insights, big breakthroughs. We will also cover how to make money on Substack.
Sarah reminded me that I don’t tell you what to do. I already know that you know. I help you connect with that. It sounds simple but you rarely see it in practice.
One of my other talents back in the day was that I was able to support people to surpass any success I had of my own. It’s only now in writing this I can see that’s because I was able to offer them what I didn’t have, what I needed.
At the time I felt resentful that nobody above me recognised this.
I thought I needed external validation back then.
I hadn’t been made aware that I could learn to validate myself.
I’ve had it In my mind for a long while, that not only am I here to support you on your healing journey, I am here to support you on the path to generating an income. With being left without mortgage insurance, sick pay or immediate family to help at the point of finding myself disabled by illness, it’s something that I’ve had to learn to do. I had to find a way to generate an income to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.
It felt miraculous that I learnt to do something I loved, worked to my strengths, got to share my story (as well as clients sharing theirs) AND got paid for it.
Not only that, healing was happening at the same time. My new work created space for me to connect to myself, my breath and ground into the present. It was in my new work that I learned you can break the pain cycle. That this is possible.
It feels bold to say that I will be supporting fellow migraine warriors to do this too, but I’ve known for a while that it’s been coming, I just didn’t know this is how it would manifest.
For personalised one to one sessions, it is £99 per hour. Which might seem like we’re led to believe with recovery, that this option is only for the chosen few.
Only I’ve already created a much more cost effective option. In the form of my e-book “Unleashing My Inner Power: Daring to Dream & Flying Fearless”.
A transformative memoir of heartbreak, chronic illness and adversity. With a 3 part journal at the back. So that you too can step into your inner power, allow yourself to dream and fly fearlessly in the direction of them.
It’s already been described as
“One year in remission”
“Pain turned into purpose”
“Ideal for women seeking balance”
It’s free if you have Kindle Unlimited or available to buy from Amazon from anywhere in the world. Check out the 5* reviews and order yourself a copy today.
Thank you for supporting me at the same time as supporting you.
It doesn't surprise me one bit Amber that you were an amazing manager, you are so positive, uplifting and inspiring in everything you do. I know that what you have been through has prepared you for this moment and that anyone who chooses to you have you in their corner is going to know what true, honest, authentic and lived through experience support looks like. What an absolute gift. 💖🍀