Warrior Weekly: Back on it after a fortnight off!

Ever have a week where you feel like you’ve been on a journey and then some? This week’s been one of those.

Mini fortnight update –2 week holiday, mainly at R’s house. So many new experiences including lake swimming at Pool Bridge Farm near York, seeing dolphins swimming in the sea (at Bridlington of all places!!), skinny dipping at an organised event in the North East after camping out and so much more!

We had our 2^nd curveball thrown at us this month on top of an already heavy September (on R’s side). I’ve written and typed a blog about our monthly check ins to share with you in the coming week. About how they’ve helped us prioritise in a way that kept us super steady this month, all at a time where we could’ve quite easily been swept away.

Monday - kick starting my return from holiday with my own retreat day! A non-negotiable and essential part of every month. A major player in my road to recovery, a space for all of me, all my healing, a container for shadow work and now it pays dividends with matters of business. Whilst it doesn’t make sense of the logical kind and goes completely against the grain, its technically a work day. My business wouldn’t be where it is without it, nor would my health (and in turn, the ability to work/live my life to the extent I’m able to now).

Photo by Nathan Lemon on Unsplash

Today started with a pilates pop-up, meditation and some embodied dancing - haven’t taken up as much space as I did today in my body and on the mat in the whole time I’ve been having a go at my favourite past time. Feeling super sleepy today, I could’ve easily fallen asleep in my bodywork treatment afterwards. How were you feeling today?

Tuesday – 9am writing with

Heart Leap

and all the others. Received some terribly sad and tragic news immediately after about a dear friend who has died. Spent the rest of the day reminiscing of all the amazing nights out to clubs like Passion, Storm, Sundissential and festivals like Global Gathering and Creamfields back in the late 90’s and early noughties. Nick was a spontaneous fellow and would have us hiking in nature on other occasions and wild camping by the river. A deep thinker and a loyal, genuine friend. Incredibly thoughtful.

My 2^nd bodywork client of the day asked “are you ok, you look really tired?”. I felt good enough, but finding the energy dark and heavy atm and what with the terrible news this morning, I guess it was showing. Do you connect to the energy of the season in a similar way?

Wednesday – online yoga with

David Venus

. Soooooooo good to be back in my body. Really needed it with yesterday’s news.

A client rearranged their bodywork today so I did the long overdue job of cleaning my blinds and clearing and cleansing the space in my home for tonight’s launch of The Warrior’s Path! My first person booked in post trial-run. We have lift-off!!

Photo by Tim Wilson on Unsplash

Thursday – 9am writing group session again. Only been doing one section recently instead of the usual 2. I’m down from writing a section daily to 2-4 a week. I’ve given myself the deadline of the Writers Workshop, in 23 days. 24 sections (8 chapters) plus the epilogue left to complete.

Breakfast with Milo’s mum, Kay at the Happy Café. Disposed of 3 dead plants I’ve been holding on to out of guilt upon her gentle nudge. Was this the reason I went on an overnight journey in connection with guilt? I’ve no idea but when I went to update and share a blog with you detailing The Warrior’s Path, I felt super vulnerable and unable to share it. Uncovered in ways I won’t share here that it connected to guilt over the past and remorse. In the past 4+ years, I’ve healed trauma from this lifetime, plenty ancestrally, karmic ties and all past regrets (of which I had 9) so I had no idea to what this would relate. Wrote in night time journal: What part of my past do I feel guilty over? What do I feel remorseful about?

Have you ever written a question you wanted to know the answer about in your journal?

Friday – had a crazy ass dream overnight. Haven’t been journaling my dreams consistently this year and keen to get back into it. In writing details of the dream down I received the message

“The Warrior’s Path is part of me doing what I want, loving what I do and the income I generate from it enables me to live everyday as though I’m on holiday”

I’ve somehow got guilt attached to that based on past actions (which I believe are ancestral).

A perfect intention to set for this morning’s floatation tank: “I want to uncover more about where this guilt and remorse came from”. Insights came through pretty quickly around the ways in which, historically, as women our income/money would come from marrying into it. Money which was for the benefit of others like our family. My guilt of how I earnt income in past lives is somehow attached to that and is preventing me from fully stepping into my inner power, dreams, wants and desires.

It all sounds pretty crazy to me and even as I’m typing I’m asking myself “am I seriously gonna share this with my readers?” but the one thing I do know for sure is that the more I keep an open mind and the more I heal (especially emotionally), the further my health improves. So call me crazy if you will but for me it’s worth the gamble.

Found two 4-leaf clovers on my walk with Milo today! Birds covering an entire field took flight. All the growth around a tree I like to connect with for writing inspiration has been cut back leaving it wide open to its surroundings.

Do you connect with nature in similar ways?

Photo by Yan Ming on Unsplash

Saturday – a leisurely day with few plans. An unexpected 3yo niece appeared for us to babysit. She asked for the toys, all we had were marbles and a cauldron to (pretend) put her in. Obvs hide and seek too.

Back on it with the daily memoir writing. How do you relay to readers a massive relapse kick-starting with the endurance of the highest pain a human has ever been known to endure? Not many have managed to relay this to healthcare professionals in a way that they can comprehend and understand. So much so, up until recently, this type of attack has been believed to be exceptionally rare (only affecting men) and is thought to last a maximum 90minutes. It’s only very recently been recognised to affect women too and be more common than they first thought. All I had to do was speak to a few migraine sufferers and in conversation with clients about parents to discover this had to be more common than my research first told me.

In the end, I endured pain to an excruciating level for 24 hours between lockdown 1 &2. And as if that wasn’t horrifying enough, suffered pain to a severe and agonising extent for a further 48 hours. Vomiting many times, unable to eat, drink, move or speak. Entirely on my own in the same way I have been all the other times. Maybe I’ll use this excerpt for it because it shares so much of what I need to say. Had to research my journals from 2020 as part of this exercise and boy did that highlight a few belters as to what that experience was truly like.

Ended the evening with some light-hearted scrabble. I bloody love a good game of scrabble!

Sunday – a big journaling sesh to relay all that came up for me in the night (dreams, insights, clarity). A vulnerable conversation with R about how I was feeling on the back of it all – scared, fearful, doubting myself. That was a big step outside of my comfort zone!

Other than that, it was a steady morning, walk in nature at lunch, R’s facial this aft then a big business update post drafted to share over on insta and facebook tonight. Undergoing a major restructure.

Ahh its so good to be back! I sure missed showing up on here. My enjoyment for sharing my work and writing with you grows and grows.

How’s your week been?

Photo by Peter Conlan on Unsplash