Thailand: week at a peak #3

A week full of new beginnings.

Day 15 – chill day after 3 big days out on the trot. Saw Greg off in the morning (he’s gone on to Koh Samui). Liz arrived in the afternoon. Met her in person twice now after meeting her online last year! She’s the reason I’m here in Klong Muang and why I’ve managed to get a bungalow on the beach for £400 all month.

Day 16 – Goddess Retreat here on the beach, run by Liz. Offered to do us a settling in meditation which turned into a guided journey – my first time leading a meditation that took us all on a journey. Walked away with a couple of new friends, don’t know why I’m surprised I always make friends so easily.

Photo by Drew Colins on Unsplash

Day 17 – chill day. Typed up this week’s blog. Haven’t done much in the way of writing/typing this week. Met the owner of Balibar sunset restaurant. He went to see his Dad back home in Edinburgh 6 months ago and on the last day his 80yo Dad had a massive stroke. He was told to say his goodbyes because death was imminent. 6 months on, his Dad is fully able again, can speak as well as he did before. Asked what his Dad attributes his recovery to. “He didn’t believe he was ill”. I didn’t believe I was incurable nor that there was nothing I could do for my disabled condition, I know first hand how powerful a tool belief is. The medical professionals will not entertain the notion and he still remains in hospital, they can’t fathom why he’s made such a miraculous recovery and keep telling him “something is wrong”.

Day 18 – Aquarius new moon. During breathwork this morning, I automatically affirmed “I love my life”. Later on at dinner, I thought about how happy I was feeling. Guilt has been one big emotion I’ve been dealing with during my time here. Guilt for being happy. Guilt for spending so much time with another man when I have a new love interest back home. When I was younger, anytime I felt happy, I always immediately felt “something bad was coming”. Tonight was the first time (in my life) where I automatically affirmed “I deserve to be happy” after connecting with feeling this way.

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

New moon intention: I want to wake up feeling happy, joyful and bright every day. A practice I reaffirmed from the Goddess retreat the other day. How do you want to wake up feeling?

Note to write a blog on my journey of affirmations and how I’ve come from where I once was to where I am now.

Day 19 – Trash Hero beach clean-up arranged by Liz after we picked up a couple of bags worth just on our gentle stroll up and down the beach this week. It’s been a big shock to me to see just how much plastic litters the beaches here in Thailand (and the sea). 10m, one hour, filled 3 bin bags and I was sweating!! Over a dozen of us, 20+ bags filled in total and 95kg in weight cleared off the 100m beach. Could’ve still gone back for some more but good to feel like we’ve made a difference.

Day 20 – Liz’s magical mystery tour! All off the beaten track. Caves, pools, underwater forests and flowers, Good Coffee, food, strong currents and big surprises (including a crocodile, giant catfish, pig in our path, baby chicks and elephants in the distance).

Wrote a few posts for socials when I got back.

Day 21 – heading into the Autumn week of my menstrual cycle. Started to feel the cross over yesterday in the form of little energy dips. Continued with my monthly practice of a period pamper even though I am far away from home. Pedicure and a facial. Permission to rest, deep relaxation, connection to long slow deep belly breaths, lots of down regulation, happy nervous system.

Came home and completely crashed. Totally wiped out, couldn’t even leave my room for dinner.

My two choice affirmations at this time of the month are “I’ve done enough” and “I surrender to come what may”. It might not sound like a right lot but this alone reduces pain, symptoms and duration of attack so it’s worth the effort.

Just got to ride it out and see what happens now.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash