My Life Story

A celebration of a story that matters

Last year I saw Emma Gannon speak at The Alnwick Story Fest and unexpectedly bought her book The Success Myth after feeling a connection to her insight and authenticity.

Initially I wasn’t sure how much I could glean from it. I’ve always known that success, in the way that it has been pictured, is a myth. That it wasn’t possible to have it all – all, as in the way it has been portrayed to us.

Even in the early stages of reading it, my confidence in my unique beliefs has soared. I’ve learnt that it is better for me to stand out and stay true to my beliefs, however odd and outlandish they may first appear.

The one I have been keeping from you is that my soul believes we can live a life free from disease, pain and suffering. That we can learn how to live life this way.

There. I’ve said it. I no longer fear repercussion. In fact, this year, I’m moving more into a space of embrace. Embracing conflict. Welcoming it. It’s one step closer to achieving the aforementioned.

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

At the time of writing this, I’m a little over halfway through reading the book and one of the chapter reflections is centred around looking at your life from a distance. Starting with writing down your life story in ten bullet points. Centring on the overarching themes before moving on to writing your story in third person. The intention behind it is to celebrate a life that matters, see what you notice, reflect on what you’re proud of.

Mine came with a dozen overarching themes:

1. An unhappy childhood. Even though I was always smiling in photos and labelled the “good” girl. I didn’t see anyone as old and this stayed with me.

2. Excelled in school. I loved it. Wanted to be a teacher.

3. Feelings of fear, anxiety and disconnect. A strong faith as an undercurrent to my teens.

4. A knowing that I wanted to help others. To the extent that I would carry their pain for them if it meant they didn’t have to suffer.

5. A life-long belief that “you can achieve anything you put your mind to”. Though I had not a scrap of self-worth to go with it.

6. Started binge-drinking at 15. Violent and agonising migraine attacks began at 18. After living with a history of violence, I’ve come to find that the two are inextricably linked.

7. Life became one long journey of numbing out. Numbing out from severe pain, a lost childhood and suppressed emotions.

8. Career focussed because I knew what I didn’t want (marriage and kids) and I thought that’s what you did.

9. One relationship after another accompanied by a fear of getting hurt and disempowering belief, “I am a disaster”.

10. Big money lessons learned in my 20’s.

11. Fatigue, burnout, breakdown and the collapse of a life built on shaky foundations in my 30’s.

12. Reborn in my 40’s. I don’t believe in the term mid life or identify with being middle-aged. I don’t see myself as old or past it. I see that my life is only just beginning and that everything up until now has been research.

What are the overarching themes of your life? How does it feel to celebrate what a difference you make by being here?

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I went on to write my life story that I will share behind the paywall as I do not want this deeply vulnerable and open piece to be accessible to the world. There is our weekly invitation to meet for some gentle Healing Through Writing at 9:30am including Zoom link at the end.

In writing out my life story in this way (all 3rd person as encouraged in the book), I can see it has been powered by beliefs that both empowered and disempowered. The part our belief system plays in our wellness or lack thereof has been of particular interest to me in this journey.

Amber was born on a Saturday under the star sign of Aquarius. She was raised with the understanding that Saturday’s child works hard for a living. She went on to do exactly that.